Ep 80- Secret Eating
August 21, 2025
Have you ever eaten in secret, snuck food late at night, or hidden wrappers so no one would know? If so, you are not alone. Secret eating is far more common than many realize, yet it often comes with shame and guilt. Understanding why it happens is the first step to breaking free.
In this podcast we will cover:
What secret eating actually is
How shame, guilt, and perfectionism fuel it
Practical ways to feel comfortable eating in front of others again
What Is Secret Eating
Secret eating is when you hide food or eat privately so no one sees you. It usually comes with shame, guilt, or the belief that something is wrong with you. Common behaviors include sneaking food late at night, eating in your car or bathroom, hiding wrappers, or even retrieving food from the trash.
Sometimes you may even tell yourself, this doesn’t count because no one saw it. But the truth is you always see it, and that affects your confidence and trust in yourself.
Why We Secretly Eat
There are many reasons people develop this habit. One is the desire to protect an identity. You may want others to see you as the healthy person who eats clean, exercises, and has it all together. Secret eating hides the part of you that struggles.
Another reason is fear of judgment. If you think people will believe you are unhealthy for eating a cookie, it is often because you already believe that about yourself. Those imagined judgments are really your own inner criticisms.
Secret eating can also stem from childhood experiences where emotions and needs were not safe to express. Hiding with food can become a form of rebellion or self-soothing. And sometimes it comes from fearing you will lose control around others, so you keep your eating private instead.
The Shame and Guilt Cycle
Shame says there is something wrong with me. Guilt says I did something wrong. Both often show up in secret eating. And while eating in secret may feel like a way to avoid judgment, it usually leads to more shame, more guilt, and more hiding.
The truth is there is nothing wrong with you for eating food. Many of these habits make sense when you consider your history with restriction or dieting. But when you get stuck in what I call the shame bubble, you cannot see a way out. You want to hide, do nothing, and escape.
Practical Steps to Stop Secret Eating
1. Spot the Pattern
Notice when secret eating usually happens. Is it late at night, after conflict, when you are alone, or with certain foods? Awareness is the first step.
2. Question the Belief
Write down a recent secret eating moment. Were you truly doing something wrong, or did you just eat a cookie you were afraid to eat in front of someone else? Eating food is not inherently bad.
3. Get Curious and Compassionate
Instead of saying I am being bad, ask why am I drawn to eat in secret right now? Practice self-compassion by reminding yourself you matter and your choices matter.
4. Value Your Own Opinion First
Other people will always have thoughts. What matters most is what you believe about yourself. When you value your own opinion above others’, you begin to trust yourself again.
5. Release the Need to Be Perfect
No one is a perfect eater. Let go of the identity of the flawless healthy person and instead embrace being a confident, natural eater.
6. Practice Eating in Front of Others
Start with your trigger foods. If Nutella is one of them, practice having some in front of others. It may feel uncomfortable, but over time it shows you that you are not doing anything wrong. Many people even find they binge less when eating around others.
Moving Toward Freedom
Secret eating may feel like protection, but it becomes a prison where you hide your true self. Healing begins when you bring awareness to your patterns, release the shame, and practice being seen.
You deserve to eat with peace and freedom, without guilt and without hiding.
Take the Next Step
If you find yourself trapped in the cycle of secret eating, know that you do not have to figure this out alone. In the Confident Eater Program, I guide you through practical tools to handle urges, practice eating trigger foods without fear, and build self trust so you can feel comfortable eating in any situation. Together we work on healing the shame and perfectionism that fuel secret eating so you can step into confidence with food and with yourself.