Ep 45 - The #1 Skill You Need to Stop Emotional Eating
December 19,2024
In order to stop emotional eating, you need to understand the concept of contrast in life.
We can never be 100% happy and if you try, you will be left disappointed and going to food to escape the sadness.
In this episode, we’ll explore how contrast—the highs and lows, the positive and negative—plays a vital role in our emotional and eating experiences.
You’ll learn:
Why contrast is key to appreciating both life and food
How accepting negative emotions can help you stop emotional eating
The common mistake of trying to “fix” sadness instead of learning to feel it
Why emotional eating often takes the place of other habits like drinking or smoking
Why You Are Chasing Happiness with Food
Most of us are constantly chasing happiness. We think we will feel better when we lose ten pounds, get a new job, or finally go on that vacation. We believe “there” is always better than “here.” And that belief is why we turn to food to escape.
You are not failing because you feel sad or frustrated or overwhelmed. These are normal human emotions. What creates problems is trying to escape them instead of feel them.
Emotional Eating Is Escaping Contrast
Think about it. You had a long day at work and feel overwhelmed. You get into your car and want to zone out with snacks. Or you fight with your partner and avoid feeling the shame or anger by reaching for food.
This happens because you have not been taught how to feel negative emotions. But feeling is the key.
I had a client describe her stress like a storm in her body. I asked her what she loves about storms. She said cozying up with a book and hot tea. She even said boating in a storm was fun because it made sunny days more exciting.
The storm is not bad. It is contrast. And she realized the stress she felt was actually her body saying something was off at work. That insight helped her stop turning to food.
Hunger and Fullness Are Also About Contrast
This idea of contrast shows up in hunger and fullness too. Food tastes better when you're actually hungry. Fullness feels better when you started out hungry.
I used to binge, and at the end I would think, well, I need protein now, and force down a protein bar. Even ones I liked tasted awful because I was already stuffed. There was no contrast. That is your body saying, “I’m done.”
So now, I love being hungry before meals. I skip snacks if I want to really enjoy dinner. I welcome hunger because it makes fullness feel good.
Even Going Out to Eat Can Lose Its Magic
When I was in Mexico, I ate out nearly every meal. It was fun at first, but it got old. Now that I’m home, I’ve never been more grateful for my kitchen, my ingredients, and the ability to cook in peace.
Eating at home felt new and fresh again. That is the power of contrast. If you are struggling to cook meals at home, ask yourself, what would you miss if you ate out every single day? Would you miss the freshness? The lightness? The control?
Contrast brings appreciation.
Stop Chasing Happiness and Start Building the Skill of Feeling Sadness
Most people are trying to learn the skill of being happy. But what you really need is the skill of feeling sadness.
Every coach, therapist, or self-help post tells you how to fix negative emotions. How to stop feeling sad or anxious or overwhelmed. But the truth is, sometimes you just need to sit with those feelings.
You do not always need to call a friend or go on a walk or journal it out. Sometimes the best thing you can do is close your eyes and say: I am allowed to feel this. This emotion is safe. It can be here with me.
Negative Emotions Are Part of a Full Life
When someone passes away, we want to feel sad. When we lose something we love, we want to feel disappointment. That is what makes us human.
You do not need to rush to reframe everything into positivity. Let yourself feel first. Let yourself grieve. Let yourself be present.
Without sadness, happiness would not feel special. Without struggle, ease would not feel magical. You would not even recognize joy if you felt it all the time.
Why Emotional Eating Replaces Other Habits
Many people begin emotional eating after quitting other habits like drinking or smoking. You might have stopped one thing and replaced it with food because you still have not learned the skill of feeling emotions.
That is the root of all emotional escape: not knowing how to be with your feelings. When you try to jump from one distraction to another, you never truly get where you want to be.
Everyone Has Contrast, Even People Who Seem to Have It All
You cannot escape the hard parts of life. Even celebrities, even rich and successful people, feel sadness. You see it in the stories of people who have everything and still struggle.
They have trainers and chefs and jets and fame. And yet, they still feel the weight of negative emotions. That is because contrast is part of life. It is not just you.
Final Thoughts
The more contrast you allow in your life, the more alive you will feel.
If you want to stop emotional eating, the answer is not to fix sadness. It is to feel it. To welcome it. To understand that it will pass, and it is part of the depth of being alive.
And when you stop resisting the sadness, it leaves faster. It no longer drives you to food. And you finally start feeling free.
To help you take your first step, I created something free for you.
👉 Grab my guided audio: Stop a Binge Before It Starts
Have a beautiful week. Accept the contrast. Appreciate it. Let yourself feel it all.